i sat in my living room today and slowly looked around the whole room and i was overwhelmed.
omg - how does anyone ever have a completely clean house all the time??? is this even possible when you have two kids and an actual life? (and no home-helper i mean.) i mean really - the window sill was lined with crayola paint and painting accoutrements, the 'median' is covered with random objects: books, mags, camera, out of use PDA... then there was the ironing board right there covered with clean, folded laundry waiting to be put away (i wish to high heavens that i could pull a mary poppins on those bad boys). what else? toys strewn all over the playmat. it seems to me that the toys are spring loaded (with invisible bloody springs, mind you) and as soon as you put them away and turn around they just spring out all over the place. kind of like toy popcorn. ridiculous. my newly acquired old cloth nappies sat neatly folded and piled on the coffee table, a variety of lauryns cups had snuck into quiet unseen places (okay like 2, but still) and let's not talk about the lego pieces that CAN NOT stay in the bucket.
i just can't keep up. who can??? i guess i could push and push myself to get everything perfect everyday but not really no. as i sit here, the little voice is reminding me that there is also a large mish mosh of clothes in bags and boxes that need to be sorted and given away or chucked. (i give a sideways shoulder glance hoping they will feel guilty and sort themselves out.) i have an imaginary nanny who would help me with the kids sometimes except she's usually off that day. (Oh Lupe, can you come hold baby ryan a minute, please?) i think i might need to hire and imaginary home-helper who would come and wash those dishes and clothes, but she'll be on a permanent holiday too. (boy i wish hortense was coming in today!)
just needed to vent. i'll get over it. i have to. cause i sure ain't marry bleeding poppins.
silence | clarity | peace
(speaking to myself)