Monday, May 19, 2008

4:57, 5/19

i am so exhausted.

i feel like i've been in some sort of twilight zone boot camp for five years. they torture you by waking you up several times a night. they make you do things and say things over and over again for no apparent reason (it never changes anything). you have to have a masters in conflict resolution. you have to have some kind of certification in food and nutrition. oh hell, all kinds of things. so

let me make the list:

psychological warfare
first aid
peer counseling
digestive health (bowel movement analysis; frequency and texture)
terrorist negotiation tactics
getting kids to eat
getting kids to eat green things
sleep clinic assesment technologies (as in how TF do i get this child to sleep through the night?!)
educational institution evaluation techniques for the 21st century and beyond
home repair
stain removal
how to cover up a mysterious bald spot and/or sudden hair loss due to sharp objects

and, oh so many more!

how do people do this? i only have two children in residence and i feel very much like i remember having a mind at one time, but i seem to have misplaced it during the night.

the whining (my FAAAAvorite!), the tantrums (wait, maybe that's my favorite), the hitting, the biting, the grabbing, the jumping on my person (that's ME), the incessant need for juice-not-water... these are a few of my favorite things! when the dog bites, when the bee stings, when i'm feeling saaaad. i simply remember...my... fav... (record scratching) wait a hot minute! nix the sound of music soundtrack. julie andrews the nun i sho ain't!

good grief. i'm whining and tantruming here. well, i guess it is my turn. plus, i'm not piercing ear drums or embarrassing anyone.

i'm tired. so. very.


tired.

and so much more!

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Guilt Is A Carnivore

and it's eating me alive.

damn you guilt. why don't you develop a starvation based eating disorder?

or stay with the catholics where you usually lurk?