Tuesday, April 22, 2008

The Ology

Mostly for my own benefit I need to write out the general meandering path that is my theology at the moment. That is to say, I think I need to clarify my "belief system". (Hmm... maybe i should go to Belief Net and do their belief-o-meter test one more time...)

Anyway, I'm not sure how I'll go about this. Should I list the things that I do believe and/or the things that I don't believe? Why don't i just start. (I mean, there's always editing for crying out loud!)

Let's start with Jesus, since, for all intents and purposes, that is where it started for me (and so many others).

I believe Jesus. (Notice i didn't say "*in* Jesus".) I will not try to argue with or dispute his teachings. For me, they are true true true true true. I mean TRUE!! Was he God? I'm pleading the 5th on that one (meaning - I am not sure). Was he the actualization of a Universal God Potential? I really think so. What do I mean by that? Simply that how Jesus lived (and died) was the ultimate incarnation of Love. (aka "God").

I do not, however, subscribe to Christian doctrine or theology. I don't believe that "the only way to get to heaven is through the blood of Jesus" (may i even risk being offensive and say: HELL no, i don't believe that!!). I don't even really believe that everyone lives, dies and goes to heaven or hell. Do I even really believe in this other-worldly, sky bound destination we call heaven? Not really. Hell? Definitely not. I do believe that we can live in "Heaven" (closeness to God/Spirit/Love) or "hell" (self imposed distance from God/Spirit/Love) right here on Earth.

Which brings me to reincarnation.

I believe in reincarnation. I believe in the evolution of the Spirit and I believe in the evolution of the human species. What I mean by that is that I believe that over the centuries and millenia of human existence, we have been evolving more and more into the image of God. (hang on a second. I got some circular logic racing around my head...) Okay, no. What I think I really mean is that we are born perfect and whole. We are born without fear and judgement (and all the other undesirables that come along with those two mafia bosses of the shadow side.). We are born in Perfect Love, trusting and loving without wanting anything in return. And then as time goes on we learn fear and separation. And our perfect self (our true self) gets buried under a whole lot of shizer (hurt, betrayal, abuse, neglect etc.) I believe that we come back to the Earth again and again (and again) to learn a multitude of lessons to further the evolution of (our) Spirit which never dies.

So I definitely DO NOT buy the story that we are born in sin! (bucket please!) I don't. I just. Don't.

Still, I do think there is a fundamental "flaw" with humanity. I see us evolving out of that, though (by means of reincarnation). Not in like the next 10 years or anything. But we're on the path, I believe.

At the risk of clanging the same old cliche´bell, I really think the problem with fundamentalism in any religious order is that it breeds fear and judgement (same two thugs) which create disharmony. (A la Inquisition, Jihad, Hitler, The Bush Administration... the list goes on.) Once a person (or group of people) believes that they have all the answers and that their way is the only right way that there is.. well, we are in for - to put it mildly - a little trouble. Then it's about who is in and who is out. Who's right and who's wrong. Blah blah blah... (Umm excuse me? I'm not interested, please. Thank you.)

But pick a path we must. So I am choosing Love. Pure and simple.

I am learning (and damn it's a slow fricking process) to love my whole self. I am learning not to judge the parts of me that I don't really relish (oh my God, could i BE anymore forgetful??? or hey, how about that why-do-you-always-want-to-be-right?-ness). If I can stop judging the self within my skin, then I can stop judging the self outside my skin.

Yes, I am alluding to my belief that we are all ONE. OH. EN. EE. ONE. I believe that every single living being is suffused with, immersed in, cannot be removed from The Spirit. (According to quantum physicists: The Unified Field.) I believe that our entire universe is within Spirit's Self and we, therefore, are one with that Spirit and each other.

Think of it this way: If every living thing had a silver chord attaching it to every other living thing, it would mean that one could not act without affecting the other somehow, right?. (One.) It would mean that everything that breathes (is connected) is interdependent, right?. (One.) It would mean that even as the very Earth has been shown scientifically to breathe, it is the Breath of Spirit that unites us all. (One One One!)

I may think that the *$!@&% horrible-name-calling-here who treats his/her kids like shit is separate from me and then judge them for it, but the truth is

i am not

and i have no right to judge because i don't know his/her story and s/he is me and i am her/him.

Everybody knows by now that everything that eventually ends up on a trash heap is as worthless the day you buy it as the day it ends up at it's inevitable final destination and therefore is completely inconsequential. ('djou get that?) After all, wouldn't you quickly give it all up twice over or more to have a loved one survive tragedy? What good is all the money in the world if it cannot undo what has broken you? The only thing that is true, the only thing that is real and that survives is Love. (Truth, Kindness, Trust, Forgiveness, Wholeness...)

So I basically subscribe to any teaching that falls into the category of Love and Truth. All Truth, all Love, all Light is Spirit's.

I believe that Love doesn't do exclusive. Love won't force, but Love won't leave. It cannot. We cannot be separated from it. No matter what.

We have the choice, however, to actualize Love in every moment or not. Simply by being fully present, fully alive, fully aware; living in Love we have to potential to "do greater things" than Jesus. I really believe that. And I guess that summarizes what I believe.

No judgement. Only all acceptance in Love.



Today is the last day that I will nurse Ryan. I made the decision to wean him. Today is the 22nd and he is 31 months old today. Hey may not be ready, but I am. And then again, I'm not.

This is so much more complicated - emotionally speaking - than anyone who has never practiced extended nursing (beyond the first few months) would be able to understand.

Why don't I feel overjoyed at the thought of FINALLY having my body back to myself?



Saturday, April 12, 2008

The Number 2 News

Ryan M. A. Sawyer, also known as "Baby Ryan" is redefining one of western society's most beloved phrases.

Starting with a party in January, 2008 and continuing through the next four to five parties at a variety of venues, Ryan has felt the need to eliminate into his pull-ups at every single event.

It has even gotten to the point where Ryan's weary parents are ensuring that they pack sufficient changing paraphernalia whenever they are taking young Ryan to the festivities the family gets invited to.

At one point while changing him in yet another far removed - usually unaccessible to guests - area of someone else's home, Ryan's mother exclaimed in exasperation: "Why do you always poop at parties?!!" She followed her own rhetorical question with the answer that she needed to provide enough comic relief for this and many other moments to come:

"What are you, a (can you guess what's coming?) ...

Party Pooper?!"

And there you have it, Ryan Sawyer has redefined (or was that the original meaning?) the term we have all *previously* used to describe the would-be goofball who ruins the party.

Thanks Ryan! When it comes to parties, you're our number 2 man!