Friday, July 23, 2010

[not alex haley's] Roots

i have been saving since 2009 to take my family on this long-awaited trip to Jamaica. i have and it was. the last time we were here was 2008. the 2009 trip was missed due in only part to my foolish dependence on some sort of magical goodwill [being] "unexpectedly" providing the means (read: funds) for us to come here.

i waited and waited and nothing happened. though, if i were to be fair and mention the annoyingly tenacious bright side, i would mention that we did, however, go to florida in august to visit my mom and sisters as a sort of consolation prize. (no offense to my mom and sisters, just - our hope was to come to jamaica and live jamaican.

anyway, way to start a blog post with a digression without even getting into the content.

as i was saying before i interrupted ourselves - we worked pretty hard to get here. and here we are! loving our green days, crunchy, salty afternoons, delicious moments and the (re-)discovery of roots.

in demonstration of a profound lack of originality i have to say that regardless of all the cost(s) associated with this trip, being here has truly been priceless.

it's like i've been wearing shoes for two years mostly feeling okay but mildly aware of a burgeoning discomfort; and now i have finally been able to take them off and put my soles upon the earth. tasting it, breathing it, infusing it - becoming It.

but that's not even the best part. nope. not by a long shot.

i'll tell you what it is: it's giving this gift to my children with my best friend. somewhere in the tension of being "non-political/globalist/humanist" and feeling fiercely loyal to my jamaican-ness, i experience an exquisite kind of joy at passing parts of these parts of my self to my children. mountains, caves, animals, rivers, indigenous fruit, peoples, our family, friends and food. inside of these things the earliest version of my self was created and remains a big part of who i am.

(L-R, Front Row to Back: My son Ryan, Jordan (Collie's Nephew), Nathaniel (Andre's son), my daughter Lauryn, Latoya White holding her daughter Victora, my Aunt Pauline, (her husband) Wilmot White, my hubby Nathan, Sean White, Collie (my step mother), and Andre White.

these three (soon to be four) weeks of simply (re-)Being Jamaican together have been more meaningful to me than i have the ability to articulate.

did magic get us here this time? i think so. the magic of hoping, dreaming, and refusing to take no for an answer (aka reckless determination). a magic that has manifested in tangible and unobservable ways on this trip. it has both held us and been held by us all in common.

from wherever this has come, the source of light and goodness, i am eternally thankful to have been it's conduit and witness.

i have come to jamaica and i don't just "feel a'right" - i feel fantastic!

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