Tuesday, March 25, 2008

The Joy Reaper

I have been so so so consumed lately that I have neglected my writing to the point where it seems to be a brownish, mostly dead plant all forlorn in the corner. For this, I am sorry.

But DAMN!! Working full time is ... (how can I say this without swearing?) .. well it's bloody frickin HARD that's what! Man alive. I am almost ready to hunt down a big enough piece of cardboard upon which to paint a sign that reads: "WIll work for silent, alone time." Seriously. (sort of.)

Anyway, as usual, I digress. I am here to talk about the joys not the oh-my-god-how-does-anybody-surVIVE-this?! parts of parenting.

So back to the whole Farming analogy. I just harvested some boat loads of deelicious bounty!!! (It occurs to me as I think my next sentences through that there is a strong possibility that it's modernity and technology that makes parenting so hard. More on that later...)

This past 4-Day Easter weekend was AH. MAY... (wait for it... )


Okay so I still had to tell Ryan like seven thousand times not to touch the "Kill Fuel" thingie which comes just shy of having it's own red light district, yank me please i'm BEGGING you!!! signs all around it. And he DID fall down the "stadder" (perilously steep ladder like stairs) and he did crap on the floor in our cabin and wipe it all over the floor and he DID successfully fall over about 10 times his usual average but he had a lot - and I mean A LOT of fun. And so did Lauryn, and so did Nathan and, yes folks, so did I!

It could have something to do with the fact that we were on a boat anchored just off an tiny island that -for all intents and purposes- was our OWN private paradise for THREE days!!!

When kids can just do whatever the hell they want in the middle of nowhere with no concern in the world - that, my friends - is heaven. Not just for them. Oh no. For us too.

It was brilliant! I was so deeply truly madly in love with Lauryn I almost couln't take it. Ryan was, as usual, his embodiment of enthusiasm, zip, zeal and exuberance. But without the constraints of the Risk Factor. That is, nothing to break or be broken by. (Except for those few impediments on the boat that were briefly mentioned earlier, but it really wasn't as bad as the author made it sound.) And I was able to enjoy him for who he really is. And, come to think if it, so was everyone else.

I am so so so thankful for all the wonderful moments that made that weekend like a beautiful quilt. I feel so... well, squishy and pleased when I think of Lauryn remembering this with great fondness. These truly are the times when I get it. I get the point of the drudgery, of the mundane, of the everyday. That somehow even that is still reaping yet sowing all at once. And every so often, you get to step back and really see the sheer beauty of your life.

You get the message that these moments, like Easter eggs, are tucked in somewhat plain sight just waiting for us to notice them and put them into our little baskets we've been given.

So, yes, I may be distracted by the tears and the fights. By the seemingly endless needs and wants. Sadly and hardest to admit: sometimes I am distracted by worry about the things that I (think I) need and don't have. Yet - I see now - there is so much here already!

And therefore I stand and take a deep bow of gratitude to Life, to Love for so cleverly weaving itself into every facet of being, and then waiting so patiently to be discovered.

... Eureka!

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